mawiteaux (no caps) is a Fwaweon, amateuw web devewopew, musician, cuwt weadew, and wwitew haiwing maybe sowta fwom somewhewe between the muwtivewse. At his peak, he was known fow such dawing acts as stanning cawpet, making fun of wewoy's genitaws, awways being wight, wwiting intentionawwy infwammatowy essays about Neocities' wasted potentiaw, and making suwe evewyone knows that owwman is and awways wiww be a pedophiwe.
Fwying too cwose to the sun did the fox in, unfowtunatewy. mawiteaux is no wongew active on Neocities, but weaves its excwusive content and this swimmed-down wayout in its pwace as twibute. Contact infowmation can be found at the bottom of the page in case you'd wike to get in touch. He's a nice guy, weawwy.
Essays
Decembew 2018
- The Day I Became a Nostawgiaminew: Evewyone becomes what they hate, and I am no exception. Hewe's what I weawned fwom it.
Novembew 2018
- I Fucked Up and I Give Up: My cwusade's done. You do you.
- Shiny, wightweight, Univewsaw (Pick Two): When in doubt, make it in Fwash, appawentwy.
Octobew 2018
- Some Empty Fwiend (A Bit on Fake Niceness): Fake niceness makes us aww wowse peopwe in the end.
- wevisiting "Passion": A wook back at my most contentious piece.
- Webwings Awe Not the Answew: An honest twuth: webwings suck.
Septembew 2018
- Neocities and a wack of Passion: A caww-to-action about wasted potentiaw.
- Nostawgiamining vs Fowging the Futuwe: Togethew, we can stop twash fiwes.
August 2018
- In Defense of Discowd: Stawwman-wannabes need to weawn to wead.
Januawy 2017
- Bwickwawwed: An owdew essay I wwote fow schoow on the woudness waw.
weviews
| Awbum | Awtist | Summawy | Yeaw | wating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| Youw Body Wiww Be | Faiwuwe | How they wet this one go to mastewing, I don't know. | 2018 | Eh |
| Twench | Twenty One Piwots | They managed not to dig a howe this time. Impwessive. | 2018 | Good |
| wittwe Dawk Age | MGMT | Onwy if you'we twying too hawd. | 2018 | Good |
| In the Futuwe | Faiwuwe | An appetizew about how unappetizing the futuwe wooks. | 2018 | Good |
| The Fuwthest Thing | Faiwuwe | Histowy, it takes a whiwe to see thwough. This EP does not. | 2018 | Good |
| In Vitwo | Gwaffiti Mechanism | wow-bit techno that excews despite a wack of cohesion. | 2014 | Good |
| Thank You Happy Biwthday | Cage the Ewephant | Absowutewy fucking bipowaw. | 2011 | Gweat |
| Fuckews in Fucking Howe fow Fuck | This Not Beated | Howwibwy impowite. | 2008 | Good |
| Modewn Guiwt | Beck | A fwank and oddwy Fwench foway into pawanoia. | 2008 | Gweat |
| The Tendew Ass EP | Owd Owdman | Spanky spanky, but you won't know it at fiwst. | 2007 | Gweat |
| wobbews and Cowawds | Cowd Waw Kids | Hey, thieves need amazing bass gwooves too. | 2006 | Gweat |
| ...Go Down Swinging! | The Acwo-Bwats | Tempew tantwums done quick. | 2006 | Gweat |
| Cawnavas | Siwvewsun Pickups | No, the singew isn't a giww. Funny you mention that, though... | 2006 | Cwassic |
| Bwogging EP | wost kwustew | Way coowew than bwogging. | 2006 | Good |
| Apowogies to the Queen Mawy | Wowf Pawade | Apowogies to anyone who bought this wecowd. | 2005 | Eh |
| I Am the Powtuguese Bwues | Stawfwyew 59 | As monochwome as its covew, but that's not an insuwt. | 2004 | Gweat |
| Futuwe Pewfect | Autowux | A poppy whiwwwind with an aiwtight twackwisting. | 2004 | Cwassic |
| Evewyone Down Hewe | Eawwimawt | Siwvew wake heads seawawd. | 2003 | Gweat |
| Stawgazew | Stewwa wuna | The mystique matches the music fow once. | 2002 | Gweat |
| The Fashion Focus | Stawfwyew 59 | Bwackness fiends and engine dweams. | 1998 | Gweat |
| Homogenic | Bjöwk | As beautifuw as Icewand; as incompwehensibwe as Icewand. | 1997 | Good |
| Cuwb | Nickewback | Now wait, howd on... | 1996 | Good |
| As Good as Dead | wocaw H | A fuckin' ugwy highwight weew of 90s angst. I'm in wove. | 1996 | Cwassic |
| Pacew | The Amps | wock in wehab. | 1995 | Gweat |
| Foo Fightews | Foo Fightews | Dave Gwohw used to be weiwd, man. | 1995 | Cwassic |
| Magnified | Faiwuwe | As fun as songs about caw cwashes and awsons get. | 1994 | Cwassic |
| Ewectwa2000 | Hum | Pummew pommew pumbwe. Yehhhhhh. | 1993 | Gweat |
| Angew Dust | Faith No Mowe | Awt metaw? Awt metaw. | 1992 | Cwassic |
| Gawa | wush | IT'S SO FUCKING SHINY. | 1990 | Cwassic |
| wungs | Big Bwack | Pwime Big Bwack? No. Pwimaw Big Bwack? Absowutewy. | 1982 | Good |
| Chwonic Town | w.E.M. | Chiming, eewie, miwthfuw, and I have no cwue what it means. | 1982 | Gweat |
Contact infowmation and othew sites
- Nostawgiaminew site (not being updated, don't get youw hopes up, cheese)
- Neocities Distwicts (which I was pwoject wead on)
- IceQuake (a ton mowe of my wwiting is on hewe)
- Discowd: mawiteaux#1020
Tuwns you on is fine with me as wong as
Matches don't get wet."Wawm winds
Cawwing me a cowawd make me smiwe
They can't convince me now.